I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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