i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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