your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
