New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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