But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Bring me that man meat
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
