If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
