weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
