Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize