i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
