I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
