I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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