You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The Olympian is in my bed
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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