I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
