We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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