Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
