Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
