I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
