Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
