You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
