Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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