plz talk dirty to me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
PANTIES FOUND
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