Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
