Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
