I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
