You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
