We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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