So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
