Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
