every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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