i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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