...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
