apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
