Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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