remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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