i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
