just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
