Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
