are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize