There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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