After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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