LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
As shirtless as possible
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
