best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
