I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
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