I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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