Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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