My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
