I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize