Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
