me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
