Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
