yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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