Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just want nice things and good sex
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
