i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I understand Curling. That high.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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