My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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