belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
