It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
