Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i think my cat just said my name.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
