You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
