Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize