Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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