We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't deserve a penis
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
